Pink King

Imagine it's 1988. Michael Jackson is King of Pop. He's still black and no one's wondering if he's wacko. You're a writer in Disneyland, pregnant with her third child.  On your way out of seeing Captain Eo, you're handed a visor with flashing lights.

Flash forward to 2011. MJ is dead. You've published four books in five years. You're sitting by the banks of a mountain river with another writer, no books and no kids. You hand her the visor. Two severed wires, black and red, protrude like antennae from the flaccid elastic headband. Small yet significant feelers of support.

She takes the visor. Ignores it for weeks as she rides a creative roller-coaster and wants to get off, pukes over the rail.

Eventually, she remembers - the visor. Holds and examines the silver plastic. Is that the scent of make-up lingering on the cloth lining? Who is Captain Eo, anyway?

Googles. Okay. A male superhero played by a man who moves like a sentient ocean. Whose emblem is the inverted pink triangle...

And not for the first time she wonders about the King of Pop. What happened?

things you can have a thing for

Upon seeing a fake-fur sasquatch costume in a shop today, I said to the clerk without so much as a how-do-you-do, "Did you know there are folks with a fetish for people dressed in fursuits?"

"No, I didn't," says he.

"Yup. And some folks have a fetish for plush toys, too. It's called plushophilia. It may even be listed in the DSM-IV. How much are these tube socks?"

"Ten dollars."

"Okay, thanks. People in the furry fandom community refer to such a fetish as 'yiff'. Have a good one."

Let this be a cautionary tale for other writers out there. Not everyone is walking around thinking about human-kind's range of sexual fetishes. Just because the main character in your screenplay needs you to be obsessed with such matters, the local store clerk doesn't. He'll just spend the rest of his day texting his friends: "OMG, u'll nevR guess what this weird customer said 2 me 2day."

Spanky Poodle sat right down

a-writing on a story

put a feather in her cap

and called it allegory!

This week's glee cozy was handcrafted from our local newspaper by a Culinary Goddess(pictured Right) but it has never contained fish or chips. 

 

Random Musings

1. "If you can't Dodger, Rammer. If you can't Rammer, Dodger."
~ stencil on the back window of a half-ton truck that gunned past me on the TransCanada near Lac des Arcs this morning

This belongs in the category of "Things that make me feel lucky to be queer". Do women actually have sex with men who drive around with that kind of slogan on their vehicle? Anyone?

2. My girl called me a byke this weekend. (At first, I thought she was calling me a bike. As in, the town bike. But she didn't know that joke.) I hereby claim this the epithet for bisexual women everywhere! Isn't it great? Anyone?

3. A happy homo flirted with me. (Again.) He rubbed his beautiful buns on my thigh.
"They said you liked my ass," he yelled over the music.
"I do. Careful; I squeeze," I warned.
"Go for it."
When I did, he said, "So, you're not gay then?"
"I'm bi."
He said something incomprehensible that was meant to be PC. It started with "I support..." but ended with him nearly recoiling and ignoring me for the rest of the night, so he might as well have said nothing. Needle scratching across vinyl record. Short-circuit. Turntable spinning silently. Connection terminated. What is it with lovely fags throwing themselves at women? And then having an issue with bisexuality? Anyone?

4. Why does rope look so fetching wrapped around an erection? Anyone?

5. IKEA has an arrow painted on the floor. People flow through the showrooms at exactly the same pace like a river of obedient little consumer-sheep. It bugs me. I crossed the current to the other side. I backtracked from candles to linens. I slowed down, I sped up. Was that annoying of me? Anyone?

Toward a definition

Sometimes people ask me what defines a bisexual. American activist & writer Robyn Ochs has this to say: "I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have the potential to be attracted -- romantically and physically -- to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." Robyn married her long-term partner, Peg.