Bridging

Lately I'm glimpsing how pervasive fluidity is, how very deep is life's non-dual nature. I am no different. More than ever, I am both here and there, urban and rural, secular and spiritual, right and wrong. I am spiraling upwards and downwards at any given time, succumbing to entropy and striving for order, simultaneously.

Trying to make things into absolutes causes so much turmoil in this world. The either/or mindset failed to help me in my sexual identity, and it fails so often when applied to anything else.

So why do I repeatedly fall into the trap of choosing, or believing, or being this or that?

My way of being challenges others' binary-ness, their preconceptions of duality, their fundamentalism. Witnessing their discomfort, out of compassion I soothe them by attempting to be more black-and-white in my words and deeds. But that isn't easier on me; it goes against my spirit.

My spirit's way is the way of the bridge: resting firmly on both shores, dwelling on both as well as in between them and over the river, simultaneously. I dance across the bridge and over the river, pausing for a time on one bank or another until exploration beckons and I resume the dance of in-between. I live and I love in the places where binaries meet and caress, bump and rub together.

At last, I have understood: whenever, for the benefit of others, I force myself to align with society's embrace of the binary, I do myself harm. Perhaps I also harm others, by perpetuating a mindset that leads to conflict.

So now I am learning how to live in harmony with my nature (and perhaps the nature of all things.) I will practice allowing others grapple with their own dissonance rather than violating my self. I will practice being proud of what my way of being can bring to the world: diversity, inclusiveness, understanding - and maybe even some peace, at least for myself.

Bridging by Monica Meneghetti is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at monmenblog.blogspot.ca.
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Shame and Vulnerability

I have a new lover. Meet Vulnerability. We're crazy about each other.

Brené Brown talks about having a "vulnerability hangover" after admitting her breakdown publicly on Youtube (now at 9,794,150 Views). What memoir writer hasn't experienced a vulnerability hangover? I certainly have, and I'm currently writing about one of the aspects of that hangover - shame. I hope to post some of the work-in-progress here in the coming weeks.

She also says, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change." These are some of my top values. So basically, I'm screwed. Me and Vulnerability are gonna be life partners.

emotional present

i guess i am actually living in the emotional present. it's just that my present now includes my past.

And now, for my spiritual side...

Just back from brief vacation. The Slocan Valley gave me an organic-green-bean welcome. A cherry-picking initiation engaged with teeth. Sweat-infused, patchouli-and-herb inhalations. Drum-circle epicentre of ecstatic energy, drawing me into Divine Dance. Such energy surged from the drums as to require a step backward, a circling 'round, an exhalation. I exhaled in order to make room, to take it in. Nothing to safely do with such spirals but dance dance dance beneath that fully-stoked yet dying star called Sun.

Years ago, I wouldn't have felt the energetic pulse emanating from the drummers' combined intention. This ability to detect Divine energy as physical sensation is an enormous gift received from the many Illuminated Souls who willingly shared with me over the last two decades. Sometimes we think this comes from the "masters" only. But I believe that each of us is an Illuminated Soul. The difference lies only in manifestation. How much of the time are we manifesting that identity? Those we call ascended are there all of the time. And perhaps also beyond corporeality...though my ample scepticism says "impossible".